I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
