dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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