ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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