So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
