Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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