remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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