too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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