I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
