i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
