in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
