I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
