the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize