and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
