Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
