how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
farters have to be the big spoon...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize