He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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