By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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