Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Im part way to drunk.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
