I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
