No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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