well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
