you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
