Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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