just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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