I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
