Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
