I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
