a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
