Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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