there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
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