You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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