Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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