it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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