I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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