you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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