Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
