Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
