He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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