They should really pass out barf bags in church
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
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