peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Four minutes until I can fart!
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
