Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
