remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Edward fifth and chaser hands
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
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