I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
