You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
