weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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