Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just pee around me
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
