only if we run a train.
done.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
