Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize