all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
