He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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