she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
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She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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