Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
