is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
