So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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