I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Randomize
