To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
