Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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