She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Randomize
