Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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